Monday Musings: MissTyrios
I love a good play on words, so any public defender blogger who calls herself MissTyrios earns a special place in my heart. The name alone makes it special.
But there is a lot more to MissTyrios’ blog than just a cool title. After taking some time off from the blog last year, she has come back like gangbusters, with thoughtful posts on wide-ranging subjects such as attorneys behaving badly and criminal law and prison issues in Massachusetts.
So it is with great pleasure that I present MissTyrios, who was kind enough to offer her unique and strong voice for this Monday Musings interview.
MissTyrios doesn’t have an image on her blog,
but I think this image, found at a
public relations blog, appropriately
captures the concept.
INTRODUCTION
My name is MissTyrios (not really, if that isn’t obvious – say it out loud) and I blog over at misstyrios.com. I’m 27, have an undergraduate degree in Urban Studies, graduated from law school in 2006, and have been a public defender in
You used to write for suicidegirls.com. What was that like, and how did you get involved with that?
As a warning, Suicide Girls is a website that primarily focuses on nude pin-up photography, so it may not be a good idea to rush over there, particularly if you are at work. I first came across the site in 2003 and was attracted to it because I love tattoos and tattoo art and it focuses on girls who have tattoos. I very quickly realized that the site also has a pretty amazing community of people that tend to be a lot more intelligent, articulate, and interesting than your average website, particularly one that ostensibly focuses on naked girls. Over the years, I have made really fantastic “real life” friends and have watched the site and the community grow and change and become something of a cultural phenomenon. Sometime after I joined, the site created what is known as the “Newswire,” sort of a communal blog that was written and edited by site members and covered topics like Politics, Culture, and Tech. I became an official Newswire editor in 2005 and was in charge of writing posts about Politics and, less often, Culture. I tended to focus on law and other legally-related issues because, well, I was in law school and that’s what I knew best. I would also edit stories submitted by other members because I’m an obsessive grammar, punctuation, and usage stickler. I absolutely loved that gig because it gave me a chance to write, to have a huge audience, and to debate reactions to what I had to say. I did that for about a year, but the site decided to take the Newswire in a different direction, focusing more on featuring writers that had an established base outside of just SG. That turn was the impetus for me starting misstyrios.com – I deeply missed writing and wanted to continue to do so.
What led you to law school, and what inspired you to become a public defender? (And the attitude expressed in the blog can truly be described as “inspired”.)
Thinking back on my life, I think law school was a natural place for me to end up. Since I was a little kid, I have been a voracious reader and writer and have long been focused on issues of injustice and activism. When I was ten, I did my fifth grade science fair project about cosmetic testing on animals and got so into it that I convinced all my friend’s mothers to stop buying products from all the companies that tested their creams and mascaras on bunnies. My dad is also a lawyer (albeit not a criminal lawyer) and I was always fascinated by the work he did, even when I didn’t completely understand it. By the time I was in high school, I was involved in Amnesty International, mock trial, and a whole lot of theatre. I love performing and playing parts and acting and I think the combination of my political, intellectual, and spectacle interests fits perfectly with being a trial lawyer (though I have not actually had a trial yet).
I did not go to law school with an eye towards being a public defender, but again, I think it’s natural that I ended up here. I never had any interest whatsoever in doing Big Law and I knew I wanted something to do with criminal law, something that would keep me in constant motion and contact with people and with court. But being a prosecutor, though it is glamorized and generally revered in popular culture, made me slightly nauseous once I actually thought about doing it. I quickly realized that being a public defender was the best fit for me and, once that revelation occurred, I focused on it entirely. I got an internship at a PD office and found that everything I learned and experienced just re-enforced the notion that this was what I was meant to do.
I admit, though, that I sometimes cringe at myself when I express sentiments like that. I am not a person who embraces trite notions of inspiration. But I can’t help it when I talk about what I do – I’m a so-called “true believer” in this work and I do really feel like I’ve found what I’m supposed to be doing.
Your blog has a good-sized gap between when you passed the bar and when you started as a public defender. What is it about blogging that brought you back to it, and how hard is it to balance that with the job, life, etc?
Like I said, I started the blog after losing the SG writing gig because I just missed writing so intensely. But it came at an inopportune time – when studying for the bar, I sometimes forgot to make time to take a shower, let alone to pratter around the internet and write about something. I also had a hard time adjusting to the change in level of readership and response. My articles for SG would generate dozens and sometimes hundreds of comments, whereas my site was getting only a few hits and even fewer comments. I got a little discouraged and was not as enthusiastic as I had been previously. And then when I started working, I had a new set of challenges to adjust to in my life. I was going from a student’s schedule to a work schedule, facing a long commute, and getting used to court, clients, and caseloads. It consumed me and my blog fell way to the back of my mind. But, once I got used to the schedule and work, I discovered PD Stuff and some of the other PD blogs and realized that there may be an audience out there for my writing after all. I also realized that actually becoming a PD gave me a wealth of new material to write about. And I was always reading about various goings-on in criminal law and realized I had a lot of things to say about those as well. I re-started it and am immensely happy that I did. Lately, work has been really busy and I am not posting as much as I want to, but I see the blog as an outlet for things that I think about all the time anyway. I consider the time I spend on it to be a valuable use of my “free time.”
Although you blog anonymously, you identify (at least generally) where you work. Do you worry about having your cover blown, and does it impact how you approach the blog?
Ha. Funny you should mention this, as my cover has been blown recently. But I didn’t get in trouble or admonished. I am always very careful not to reveal any client confidences or anything that would identify another lawyer or a particular judge or anything. I sort of expected that someone would be able to identify me eventually, but when it happened, I still felt like a kid called to the principal’s office.
You have now been a PD for about 8 months. How would you describe the job to law students/potential public defenders, and what words of wisdom would you give to new public defenders to help them in their first months on the job?
First of all, make sure you are doing this because you love it. Because if you don’t love it and aren’t prepared to love it, you will immediately become overwhelmed by this job’s demands and stresses and very few victories. And then, if you do love it, always keep that in mind so as to overcome to demands and stresses and very few victories. I have had glimpses of burn out after just these months of being a PD and know how easily it can occur if you allow it to.
Second, even though you come into this job knowing you are going to be making very little money, the reality of that can be extremely difficult. It is very frustrating when you are brown-bagging peanut butter and jelly because that $4 deli sandwich may mean the difference between being able to pay both your rent and your loans this month. Meanwhile, your friends in Big Law will be buying condos, throwing lavish weddings, and getting their debt levels to zero. Just accept the fact that you are going to continue to live like a student, keep your loans paid, and remember that your job is so much better than having a Blackberry buzz in the middle of the night in regards to some document review emergency.
And third, be as nice and respectful as possible to the other people in court, particularly the court officers and clerks. They run the courtrooms and can be your greatest allies or worst enemies; their importance and power cannot be underestimated. If you get on one person’s bad side, you can be miserable for months. Don’t make that mistake. And the same thing goes for prosecutors and probation officers – you have to work with them over and over again on cases and, while you may disagree with them a lot, being able to do so respectfully and keeping the disagreement in its proper place in formal proceedings will make your life and your clients’ lives a lot better. They are the ones you sometimes need to get a good deal and you don’t want to end up screwing your clients just because you don’t like a particular person.
THE PD STUFF FIVE QUESTIONS
If you weren’t an attorney, what other job would you like to try and why?
I’m sure I would be doing something as equally bleeding heart and poorly paying, like being a social worker or a teacher in an inner city school. If I had any knack for science and math (and any tolerance for blood), I would probably be a doctor in a free clinic. I just can’t remove that part of myself that gravitates to the poor. I probably sound like I have a lot of liberal guilt, but I am completely cognizant of the fact that I’ve been privileged and fortunate enough to have access to an amazing education and I would never want to use that for anything other than chasing the notion of changing the world.
Best moment on the job?
There have been a lot of moments when I have felt completely triumphant about getting a judge to accept some deal I thought I had no chance at getting, or getting someone out on personal recognizance against all odds. But the best moment was, the day after selling what I thought was an impossible deal, my client came to my office and hand-delivered a basket of flowers as thanks for it. It was so touching to see him so grateful to be out of jail and able to go to the store to even get flowers. And, while I know a lot of my clients are thankful and know how I hard I work for them, that extra step of someone buying me a little gift to express that was very appreciated.
Worst moment on the job?
The worst moment was when I cried in court. I am not proud of this at all. It was only a couple of months after I started working and I was on arraignment duty (which I have written about a couple of times in my blog). It had been a long, arduous day (as they almost always are) and I was exhausted and looking forward to just being able to go home. But then the court officers handed me a note saying a female had been brought in for a section 35 – in Massachusetts, there’s a law that states that a doctor, family member, or the court can petition to have an individual involuntarily committed to a 30-day substance abuse treatment program if they are a danger to themselves or to others due to their drug and/or alcohol abuse. It is technically a civil commitment, not a criminal one, but because there is a loss of liberty at stake, the individual is entitled to counsel in the proceedings. They are almost impossible to “win.” After I spoke to this woman, sat with her during the interview with the court psychologist, and talked to her boyfriend on the phone, I really thought commitment was inappropriate. But the doctor concluded otherwise and, after the hearing in which I fought with all my heart against her commitment, the judge ruled with the doctor and she was ordered committed. I couldn’t help it, but tears just started streaming down my face and I felt like I had just completely failed. Luckily, the only people in the courtroom were a few court officers and the judge, all of whom knew I was fairly new and totally exhausted. The judge was exceptionally kind to me and told me that, while he had ruled against me, he sincerely appreciated the fight I had put up and my clear dedication to my clients. I was supremely embarrassed, but learned after that how to better control my emotions, at least while in the actual courtroom.
If Heaven exists, what do you think God will say to you when you arrive?
I hope he would say something like, “Hey, all your childhood dogs are here, playing with your grandpa, and Elvis Presley is giving a concert tonight!”
If you could only pick one, who is your hero/heroine?
Besides my dad (who is the best person on the planet as far as I am concerned), I would have to pick Father Robert Drinan. Father Drinan passed away recently, but he dedicated his life and career to the Jesuit tradition of helping the less fortunate. In addition to being a priest, he was a lawyer, a teacher, an academic, and a US Representative. In Congress, he was staunchly anti-war and pro-life, sometimes to the ire of the Roman Catholic Church. He is the ultimate example of truly living and working for your ideals and delivered his message of passion and of dedication to the poor and less fortunate right up until he died. He was also a very funny man. I was lucky enough to see him speak at my law school a couple of years ago, after I had decided to become a public defender, and he told us all to just eschew the money that was being thrown at us and to use our skills to help those who truly needed help. His words made me swell with pride and validated, once and for all, the path I had decided to take.
Thank you very much, MissTyrios, for an insightful and thoughtful interview.
Next week’s guest on Monday Musings is Donzell from Between a Laugh and a Tear. If you have any questions you would like me to consider for Donzell, please email them to me before Tuesday night.
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